Lenten Services Wrapped all into One Night…

Yesterday, March 6, was my Youth Group’s overnighter/time of fasting. I look forward to this even every year, and it definitely wasn’t a let down this year!
I was slightly worried when my pastor announced that she wasn’t going to set up rotation centers like she has in the past. Plus a lot of the youth said they weren’t going this year. However, this year was probably one of the best!
Instead of rotations, we had five mini-services throughout the night. We had a service for Ash Wednesday, Palm Sunday, Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and of course Easter Sunday.

Ash Wednesday Service: My pastor reenacted an Ash Wednesday service, and she even rubbed the ashes on our foreheads. This was an awesome experience, especially since I have never attended an Ash Wednesday service before.

Palm Sunday Service: We drew our hand on a piece of paper, and inside of our hand we wrote our confessions. On another piece of paper we wrote our prayer concerns. While listening to scripture, we shredded the paper with our hands on it, and we lied the paper with our prayer requests on the alter. Another touching time.

Maundy Thursday Service: For this service we listened to more scripture, and then we washed each other’s feet. Some in my youth group didn’t take this very serious; however, I enjoyed the symbolic nature of this service.

Good Friday Service: Before this service, my pastor marked out 15 pieces of scripture and set out 15 “stations of the cross” pictures. Each member of the youth was assigned a number, so we could hear the story from different voices.

Easter Sunday: This service was actually this morning. When we all woke up and had everything situated for the day, we had an Easter service. There were candles lit and we even had communion. A great service all in all. A great way to end our fast as well.

The services along with the ping pong tournament, we didn’t really have time to be hungry. We played ping pong for hours on end. I don’t think anyone even thought about sleep until midnight, but we were all up by eight this morning.
When we got up, we had a surprise visiter. A baby! She was absolutely adorable. I got to hold her and keep her occupied for most of the morning.

I am incredibly sad that this is my last year in youth group because that was also my last overnighter with the youth. A great way to have a last overnighter!

The Attack of the can of Pineapple Juice…

Well, today I was sitting on the couch trying to ignore the bickering going on around me. My sister got up and asked if I would like a drink, since she was getting one for herself. I asked if she would get me a can of Pineapple juice. You know the cute little cans?

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That cute little can of deliciousness attacked me. My sister came back into the room, and instead of handing me the can; she whipped the can at me. After realizing a can of pineapple juice was flying towards my face, the clumsy me attempted to catch it…
However, I missed and the can made pretty hard contact with my upper lip. I could instantly taste blood in my mouth and was terrified that a tooth was knocked out. Luckily, the blood was just from my tooth hitting my lip and from the gums around my teeth. To make it even better, I also have a fat lip…
Everyone laughed at me when the pineapple juice can attacked my face… However, I didn’t find it very funny then, it is kind of amusing to answer the question “what did you do to your lip?” with “I was attacked by a can of pineapple juice…”

Hope this was as amusing to you guys as it was to my family as it happened….

Breakdown

I usually have the strength to hold back my tears until at least after school; however, today I had a slightly hard time holding tears back past third period. It is not like me at all to just cry in front of people. That’s what gets me in trouble in the first place isn’t it? Yes, yes it is.
Third period, I was talking to one of my mom teachers, and I just lost it. Tears began to run down my face without any warning at all. From that point on, I couldn’t stop the tears from continuing to flow down my face. Luckily, I didn’t have to go to fourth period…
I always feel bad when I go into lunch period crying because my other mom teacher has to sit there and see me crying, but she can’t do anything about it because there are other students in the classroom at the time. I don’t do it on purpose, but sometimes things happen I guess.
People keep telling me I need to get help of some sort… Maybe someday I will… Maybe someday my parents will be the ones encouraging me to do so… Maybe someday, I will be able to get through each and every single day without the fear of World War Three breaking out in my house….
Is that to much to ask? Am I really that bad of a person? To I show more emotion than I should? Why can’t I trust people to the max, they mean well don’t they?

So many questions and scenarios run through my head each and everyday… But, I do know, from this life I will become a strong independent women. Maybe someday I will be that women… Till then I need to be careful not to have another breakdown anytime soon.

Will Today be the Same as Yesterday?

Do you ever have those days that when you wake up, you feel as if the day is going to be the best one you’ve had in a long time? Then not long after being awake, your realize you couldn’t have been more wrong even if you tried…. That’s how yesterday was for me.

I woke up to the smell of French toast being cooked. This was the first time someone (other than me) has cooked a meal in over a week. I get up and race out to the kitchen. My mom’s out there making her delicious French toast, and my dad is in the living room playing on his phone.
We ate like a family for the first time in a really long time. Then it started to go downhill from there. They started bickering because mom made mention of one of dad’s “girlfriends.” You can’t mention that without my dad becoming cranky…
My mom left for work around 9:45 am… And not even 20 minutes later, my dad told me he was going to be out of the house till 2:00p.m, and I had till then to find a place to go. I wasn’t allowed at my own house. Him telling me that, made me feel like a terrible daughter.
I had drama from 11-12, but I stayed there until 3. I then went into state college with a few friends from drama until around 10. I then stayed at my nans. Thankfully during this time, I had my pastor to repeatedly tell me that this wasn’t my fault.
My mom got home from work around 7:30 and was wondering why I didn’t come home all day, do I told her to ask my father. He told her that I just said I wasn’t coming home all day. Therefore, I got into even more trouble.
Now I am sitting in my car before going into church, wondering if today is going to be a repeat of yesterday. Please God, give me the patience to get through this day. AMEN.

A Great Friend

I have this friend that I have looked at as a role model for a while now. She is always smiling, giving encouragement, and being bubbly. I never understood how someone could be so happy all the time, but I wanted to be that person.
However, we have been getting a lot closer this year, and I realized that she has actually been putting up with a lot at school and at home. This smiling, encouraging, bubbly friend was in need of what she has been gifting me for years; she needed some encouragement.
Yesterday this friend sent me a text message that brought me to tears. The text message was

I was just thinking about you! I was admiring your ability to maintain your faith in difficult times. I wish I could be like you.

This text message made me realize two things.
1. That one of my best friends was struggling more than she let on, and I was in the wrong by assuming that she was handling the situations better than I would be able to handle them. That she needs someone to let her know that she is an amazing friend and encouraging person in my life.
2. I was a witness for God to someone in my life. I have allowed God’s light to shine through me to others even when I have a cloud of darkness surrounding me due to issues at home. I am not lagging in my faith as much as I thought I was. This was a realization that I much needed.

I believe that I can speak for the both of us by saying that we have a very mutual relationship. We definitely need each other’s strength in order to make it through each and every day. I have no idea where I would be without the continuous encouragement from one of my best friends.

If you ever read this Hannah… Thank you for always putting up with me and being a great friend!

Teachers or Angels

As most of you know, I am a senior this year. (Crazy, I know!). Throughout my entire school life, I have never disliked a teacher. This year is the same way. However, I have become extremely close with three specific teachers this year due to a problem at home that they all care so much about.

Boy, am I glad that these three teachers care so much about me!

First is my Upward Bound advisor/Previous Chemistry teacher. I have known her since 9th grade, and have felt pretty close to her ever since. I look up to her as a mother figure. I go to her room everyday before first period, during my lunch, and again after school. I can seriously tell her anything, and she gives the best advice ever. We now even have our own inside jokes… Iron snails and being on the football team! I definitely tell her more than I do anyone else.

Second, my precious History teacher/my sociology teacher. She is just absolutely amazing! She noticed I wasn’t being the me she remembers and then from then on has listened to my complaining. She has given me random challenges to make me feel better.

Third, My elementary school librarian/another mom. I have been a library helped for a while now. One day I mentioned that I haven’t cried yet today… Then I slowly began talking to her as well. Now I always feel like I am a pain in the butt to her because I go to her room during any free period, after school, even on inservice days. She has been a big help as well. She also gives great advice. She also talks me out of some of the crazy things I am going to do.

Kids now a days have absolutely no respect for teachers, but I thank these teachers on a daily basis. Without them, I do not know how I would make it through a school day. I can go to any one of them and just sit in their rooms and they don’t mind. Even when I feel like I am being a pain in the butt, they assure me I am always welcome. :).

If I had to say so, teachers are angels sent to teach us, guide us, and comfort us. Therefore, if you are one who disrespects a teacher, please think again. They do more than you think.

Senior Year

     Yesterday I got my senior pictures taken by one of my favorite teachers. I was so excited to finally get them done. Then the realization hit me. I am going to be a senior this year. This is my final year of highschool. This is crazy! Time flies when you’re least expecting it too!
     Twelfth grade is the time of your life where you make decisions that affect the rest of your life. What college you want to go to. What you want to go to college for. It’s the most stress one has to feel until they get older.
      Luckily, I know what I want to be, and I am pretty sure that I know what college I want to go to. All I have to worry about is getting accepted into the college that I want to go to. I’m going to be beginning to apply for colleges very soon.

Does anyone know any colleges that have a really good marine biology programs as well as a good study abroad program? Any suggests would be greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance!